One Week on T

One announcement before I talk about T: I got my qual results and I PASSED!  I’m ecstatic.

It’s been just over a week since I started taking testosterone.  The information at the very end is not “family friendly”, just to warn you, but I believe it’s important to include for the benefit of other transguys out there.  If you’re a person who knows me in real life, I’d ask that you use your discretion when reading this entry.  If you think we wouldn’t talk openly about this stuff in person, please abstain from reading the last two paragraphs.

The first thing I noticed was an increase in my leg strength, and I’ve continued to notice that in almost all the physical activities I do.  The T seems to give me an edge near the end of a workout or a lift; I can push myself a little harder and find that last little bit of strength.  Again, this could be psychosematic, but I can also do things like run a flight of stairs two at a time without feeling any burn in my legs.  That’s new.  I can’t see any change in my musculature yet, however.

My appetite has been insane this week.  I have a newfound sympathy for teenage boys; the other night I ate a fairly substantial dinner at 8pm, and I was starving again by 10.  There’s also been a shift in the things I want to eat.  Sugary foods sometimes seem disgusting, which is so odd since I have a professional strength sweet tooth.  I don’t crave sugar anymore.  I do, however, crave protein.  I do eat meat, but before T it was something I rarely looked forward to with more anticipation than other foods.  Now, I make meal choices based on what has the most meat or eggs in it.  I have to say, my friends have been so great with this part of it.  Every hour or so when I’m hanging out with people, I find myself saying, “I’m hungry!”  First my buds will ask, “Is it real hunger or fake hunger?” because I’ve told them that some of this increase in appetite is not because I need more calories, but just because I have a new hormone in my body.  It’s impossible to tell if it’s real or fake, but I try to avoid eating things that are too heavy in calories unless it’s meal time or I’m absolutely starving.  My friends have been extremely patient dealing with me when I’m “hangry” (so hungry I’m angry or irritable) although I’ve been trying hard to keep it in check and eating something before it gets to that point.

My voice has become a touch deeper and huskier in the last week.  A couple people have even commented on it.  It goes in and out, but definitely during my regular radio sing-a-longs in my car, I can hit notes that are lower than I could have hit before.  I can feel it in my throat, too.  It’s a little sore and sometimes feels like the chords are a little too big for the space they’re in.  I’m hoping I still sound like myself when I go to Minnesota, as a lot of people there still don’t know I’m on T (I’m telling my folks in person, for instance).

Hair has started to grow on my stomach (hehehe, a “happy trail”).  It’s dark but not yet thick.  My leg hair has started to become a bit longer and thicker as well.  The skin on my face is only slightly more oily than it was before, and I don’t yet have any acne.

Okay, here’s the less family-friendly information:

My libido went through the roof about three days into taking T.  Oh, poor teenage boys…my bio guy friends tell me that this goes on for months or years when you’re in regular boy-puberty.  Mine should level out faster, but wow.  I was sitting in a class I was really interested in the other day, and I still found myself completely unable to concentrate.  I considered leaving halfway through because it was just too much.  I’ve asked the bio guys I’m close to here what the hell I should do about this, and again, I wonder how I got such amazing friends.  They usually first say, “Yup, welcome to being a guy.”  They’ve suggested exercise, which definitely helps, and, of course, getting laid.  I’ve used exercise as a stress reliever before, but never for this specific kind of stress.  The other day I came home so strung out, so wired, that I felt like I’d explode.  A four-mile run at a remarkably fast pace followed by a couple sets of stairs and some sit-ups really did the trick.

As for getting laid, I did that too.  I want to talk about this because tranny dating is something I’ve been really worried about this week.  I’ve been scared that I’ll never find that true love, and disconcerted by the fact that I don’t even know what to look for in a partner.  It’s a complete mystery who I’ll end up with, what gender, what sex, and finding a person who is both a good match for me and who is okay with me being trans seemed almost impossible for most of this week.  I needed to be with someone to reassure me that, yes, things will be fine in the end.  Two nights ago I was with such a person–a bi bio guy friend of mine who is very much in touch with his feminine side.  It’s unclear if this will be a one-time thing or not,  but it was nice to know I’ll still have options as a transman.  Also, man, it felt really good to answer that hormonal call